And I never put it in the Old & Busted purse. But, it's nestled safely in the Rocking purse now, so we're good. However, Friday night that left me shit out of luck when I was twitchy as fuck at the movie theater and needing to write ideas down.
See, I woke up at noon on Thursday. I have insomnia and no job, don't judge me. I went to sleep at 11am Friday. I woke up at 1:30pm Friday. Yes, that's like 2 and a half hours of sleep. So Friday night when we decided to go see a movie, I sucked down an energy drink. On an empty fucking stomach, because SPOUSE said we'd splurge and get PRETZELS at the theater. But did we? Nooo.... "It's about the same price to just go out to dinner afterwards!" Fine.
What all that lead to, though? I was jittery and twitchy as fuck. I was like a 4 year old ADHD kid sitting in that theater. I couldn't stop fidgeting, moving, and fucking talking through out the entire damn movie. To the fellow movie goers? Sorry. To Spouse? Your fault, dude.
I found an old piece of paper and an ink pen, so I was able to write some shit down, though. Here's the start of the Random Ass Thoughts.
- In the Battleship trailer, they fucking lost points for NOT saying, "You've Sunk My Battleship!"
- The War Horse trailer felt like the horse was kind of a Ho. Kept moving on to new owners. May also have been concubine. Ponder-some.
- When the theater was about half full, some crazy old woman with a 5" tall pompadour hair do sat IN. FRONT. OF. ME. There should be a LAW- find a seat that doesn't block someone behind you, unless it's FULL. See below for the photo evidence. Yes, I took a photo.
- Apparently, some Chinese couple keeps having kids, but turns around and black market sells those brats so they can afford to just sit around and play World of Warcrack all day. Genius.
- Olivia Wilde isn't as good looking as everyone thinks. Her square face is kind of flat, and she needs to do something with that hair to make of for/disguise her man-jaw.
- The phrase HOOSE COW is completely under utilized in this era. Seriously. It's awesome. Everyone says jail. Next time you text from the back seat of the PADDY WAGON, tell your friends you're on your way to the HOOSE COW.
And that was all thought up by the time the movie was 10 minutes in. I twitched, wiggled, fidgeted, and moved my way through the rest of the movie.
WTF woman! I like to SEE the movie screen, not your hair! And HA! Your theory at the end of the movie was COMPLETELY WRONG!
After the movie, we went to Steak n Shake. Cheap meals, artery clogging food. Perfect. I used a menu to totally write down the GOLD NUGGET thoughts.
- (After posting 12 photos to Facebook of the menu, meal, drinks, signs, etc) People are WTFing all ovr my facebook page right now. (photo evidence of that gem below)
- Bug Spouse to record video for Blog Sand Crotch Micromachine (Hey, Spouse?? Yeah, could you do that? That would be super.)
- Every thought that goes through my head should be minted, cuz it's GOLD!
- Spouse should not be allowed out in public.
- Straw wrappers should be weaponized.
- We have a fundamental right to bear arms. In this case straws and not Bare Arms- also known as Guns, which of course is what bear arms mean. Huh. nifty word play.
- Giant Angry Birds at Spouse's work- they have huge Angry Bird stuffed animals, and a big PVC sling shot, and shoot the birds at people.
- Knock Off LV Purse. Ok, when you buy a knock off purse, first of all, make sure it LOOKS real. Not faded, dying, and horrible. But also, if you plan to ROCK a fake purse, don't wear it with your size too small Walmart leggings, size too small DEB shirt, and your $1.00 flip flops. Seriously, no one is buying that shit.
- And last but not least- MY HANDWRITING SUCKS!