Halloween, Panic Attacks, oh, and Words of Wisdom Monday

I was just thinking about the life of a pumpkin. Grow up in the sun, happily entwined with others, and then someone comes along, cuts you open, and rips your guts out... - Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

And since you REALLY didn't miss SHIT last week.....

Minion 1: What time does Trick or Treating start tonight?

Spouse: 10:30

Me: 2:00pm, you got like 15 minutes to get your shit on.

Minion 1: No, really.

Spouse: Late.

Minion 1: Isn't it at like 8?

Me: Yes. It's at 8:00pm tonight.

Minion 1: That's what I thought!

Me: (after a pause) Are you serious? When have we EVER started trick or treating at like 8 at night?? We're usually HOME by then, you dipshit!

Spouse: OMG OMG OMG OMG

Minion 1 sputters.

Spouse: She OWNED you there. Best Mommy EVER!


It's been a long week. Nearly 2 weeks ago, my 3 month old nephew was admitted to the hospital in pain. After several days of x-rays, tests, and constant questions, they discovered over a dozen broken bones.

Since then, it's been a serious of anger, sadness, pain, panic attacks, and depression. I've just come off a weekend of self-exile. I shut my phone off Friday morning, I turned off chat on FB (which is how several of my family members contact me), and I told all of them that I was not going to be in contact until Monday, and that if anything important happened that couldn't wait, to send me an email.

And surprisingly, they all left me alone.

I have anxiety, which typically manifests in sudden, unavoidable panic attacks. I typically don't have much anxiety outside of that. I worry some, but not more than the average person. No, mine is all stored up waiting to explode at the worst moment (like Christmas morning, 2007).

I have Xanax for when I'm having a panic attack. It's only taken when I'm having one, since I don't have them often, but technically, the script calls for me to take it 2-3 times daily. Up until last week, I had not had a panic attack in over 8 months.
Last week, I had 5 in 3 or 4 days. The worst was Thursday night to Friday morning, when I had 3. That's when I shut the phone off, and started taking the Xanax like the bottle said.

I spent the weekend not thinking too much about everything. It's impossible not to think about it- here's a 3 month old infant broken to pieces, and we don't know how it happened. We can guess, obviously. The news has been guessing. But despite what we do know, there's a lot we can't share, or won't share.

There was a lot of history leading up to why I'm reacting the way I am, and again, it's all crap I can't share. See, we have to watch our P's and Q's in the "public arena", so that the Media isn't snatching it up and sharing it.

Already, they've snatched a photo I took of my nephew last week, and started airing it. I had no idea when I took it that it would wind up on the news. At that point, the news wasn't even aware there was a baby boy who might have been abused, so how was I supposed to know that I should be worried about posting a photo.

Since then, I've talked with an old friend who works in the media, and found out that if we share anything, it has to be water marked- if it's watermarked at all, they can't use it in the media. Only, now everyone is so freaked out over it, that I think I would start world war 3 in my family if I DID share any of the others I took.

I'm angry at a lot of things. I'm sad. I'm anxious. I'm disappointed. I'm Brassed. The. Fuck. Off.

So, here's to a week that's stress free.

The link below is to a "ChipIn" page. My nephew and my 4 year old niece were both removed from the home temporarily, and are in the care of family, but the added cost of having 2 additional children in the home, plus all of the medical appointments (insurance covers the cost, but it's a lot of running back and forth with gas), is adding up. If you wish to help, any help is greatly appreciated.

Help Baby Bryson & His Family

So over it

Something shitty happened.

I can't talk about it, though apparently, I've told the entire world.

I really hate the phrase FML, but right now? Kind of fits.

So, since I'm not allowed to talk about the shitty stuff, what's left? A whole lot of fucking stress, tears, and feeling like crap.

If I'm not my fun, cheerful self? Well, maybe I will be soon. Namely when two people are behind bars. Yes, 2.

Monday's Words of Wisdom

You know, I honestly don't think there's a human word fabulous enough for me - Glory, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

A Day In Pictures - Because My Life Is Just That Boring, And Yes, I Needed To Share It.

You Might Be A Shitty Parent If - The one in which I become an outraged bitch over an apparent abuse case. Because my week wasn't shitty enough before all of that.

One Of The Cool Kids - In which someone on Twitter thought I was a cool kid. She must not know me yet. :)


Look for a lot of posts this week. I had a LONG ass week from Thursday through Sunday, and really? The long ass part hasn't ended yet. I'm heading to court today. Wish all of us luck.

One of the Cool Kids

The other day on Twitter, I got a DM from a new person I followed back. It said, basically, thanks for following back- now I feel like one of the cool kids!

I wrote back that if she measured cool by me, we were both in trouble.

I'm pretty sure I've never been cool, my entire life. I've been mocked by the cool kids. I've been a loser. I've been right in the middle. Cool? Not remotely. Cold, sure.

This brings to mind a convo on Twitter a few weeks/months back (who can remember? I'm fairly certain that the good people who bring us both Twitter and Facebook have encoded the programs with an ability to bend the rules of time- 1 week RL is like 3 months Twitter/Facebook time).  Basically, we were talking about how to tell if you are cool or not.

The general consensus was that if you are surprised that people even talk to you, and you have never felt cool in your life, you're probably pretty cool. I don't buy it. I mean, I'd like to, because that would mean I'm cool.

But by that standard, as soon as you even start to think about it, you are no longer cool, because you now think you're cool by way of knowing you are not. MIND. BOGGLING.

Anyway... I'm gone for the weekend. Wish me lots of sales. This weekend is hopefully paying for Christmas, ya'll.

Bottom line? Don't follow me if you want to be cool, because I'm probably less cool than you are. If you like the random shit that spews forth from my finger tips, then please, follow me.

You Might Be a Shitty Parent If...

It's been a while since I've done a post about shitty parents, so here's one. Short, simple, sweet, and to the fucking point.

You might be a shitty parent if your 3 month old baby is laying in the hospital with a broken leg and several broken ribs, and you're not sure how exactly he got that way. Especially when you are the only one he's been with for days on end.

And please, grow the fuck up and stop blaming your 4 year old.

Yes, you ARE a shitty parent, and I really fucking hope CPS has the brains to not only see it clearly, but also to do something major about it.


UPDATED:

That sweet little boy has 2 fractures in his femur, 1 in his tibula, 1 in his fibula, a broken arm, and several broken ribs.

Yes, CPS is involved, and has been from the moment the doctors looked at the X-ray and realized that the baby had unexplained broken bones.

A Day In Pictures

This is the week from hell. Or at least, it should be, but honestly, I've opted for as little stress as possible, by taking my time. What gets done, get's done. What doesn't can wait until next week. That's helped take the pressure off. I have over $1000 of merchandise for the weekend show, so I will either sell out (yay!) or not- I have enough to make money, so that makes me happy.

If anyone has ever been curious (you're probably not), here's a photo of what I spent the morning doing- getting a bow board around for a Halloween display at the show. This keeps all my Halloween shit out of the regular stuff, so I can get rid of it before Halloween is over. And also, I did one for Christmas. I'm crafty n shit.

 

Here's hoping it all sells. Less to bring home. And money in ma' pocket.

My hair is at that length- you know, the one where it's either commit to growing that shit out, or cutting it off? It bugs me when it brushes my shoulders. It's either always down, or in a pony tail. Or, sometimes I get all fancy and shit, and don't pull the pony tail out all the way and it makes a floppy, half assed bun. 

So when I pulled this shit out today, everyone was all, WHY YOU SO FAAAANCY today? I don't know why. Sometimes, I just feel the need to change my shirt for the first time in 3 days, put jeans on in place of the zebra PJ bottoms (you can totally see them in the two photos up top), and actually brush my hair.

I did a french braid from one ear to the other- but the hair was too short to continue it into a braid, hence the pony tail. Which ended up with me hiding it by wearing a flower in my hair. Soooo fancy today. Ignore what looks like a bald spot. I swear it's not.

Today, Minion 1 and I went into the BIG TOWN to meet up with Spouse's Aunt C and cousin E (I went to Mackinaw with E this summer- remember? Hot Ass Bartender Dave?) We had a CPU for E, and they live way the fuck up north in the boonies, where we used to live.

 Sadly, I was NOT impressed with Johnny Rockets. Decent food, but way over priced.

 

But Minion 1 DID really enjoy the Ketchup Smile in a Bowl. I did NOT enjoy the glass ketchup bottle, where the ketchup didn't wanna come out to play. 

She enjoyed it so much, she let me take a photo of it on her head. Word. <----totally over using THAT word lately.

After E dumped her entire glass of water in her lap, we went pants shopping, which was fun. We found this greasy mess in the parking lot.

I totally would have picked it up, but it was laying in a pile of nasty. Eww. No thanks to Parking Lot Hepatitis.

We went to the mall after that. I pulled in and was greeted with THIS beauty. 

In case you're wondering? Gills and racing stripes are NOT making your Buick any more bad ass. The campground license plate doesn't help, either, poser.

After the mall, we trolled Big Lots, and I found this small hanging sign. Given the events of the last week? I clicked, and sent it to a friend. So perfect.

And last but not least, this is from a car I saw at Walmart a few days ago. I want it. 

So, if someone wants to send me that shit? I'd love you forever.

Monday's Words of Wisdom

And just so you know: it’s not that common, it does not happen to every guy and it is a big deal. - Rachel, from Friends

Spouse & The Warning Siren Of Annoyance - Where Spouse was -almost- right. That's as far as I plan to go to admitting that. 


Quiet - And why I haven't been a loud mouthed bitch this week. Oh. Wait. I WAS a loud mouth bitch this week, just not HERE. Check my twitter and you tube, ya'll. 


Misplaced Guilt - And why exactly I've been a loud mouthed bitch this week. 


It hardly feels like only a week has passed. It was such a long week, it's felt like 3. This week I'll be missing somewhat, as I have a 3 day craft show this weekend, where I'll hopefully sell all sorts of awesome stuff. 


And the best part? A hotel room away from the family. Erm. I mean, making money. Yeah, that's the best part. 


If any of my loyal readers are in the Taylor, MI area, stop by the Gibralter Trade Center. I'll be the one selling hair shit. Well, one of them. Guess this is your chance to meet me. ;)


Just go up to the booth you think is me, and say:

I hunt Zombie Ants, and want to plan the art of slaying them from you, the Zombie Ant Slayer Goddess.

And then, let's hope you got the right booth.

Quiet

I've been quiet this week. The only thing I posted (outside of my Monday update), was a post I actually wrote like 3 weeks ago, and kept bumping forward so that more awesome stuff could be posted as it happened.

This week has been one of those draining weeks, though. If you've kept up with my twitter feed, you know what's going on. If you don't, I'm not going to share it here. You can find it on another blog. You can find it on a popular video sharing site.

Suffice it to say, it's been a week that as both made me realize I'm not nuts, as well as made me see that nothing is perfect. Well, except for me.

Hey- Cranky Old Man? If you thought what I posted LAST week was a rant, you need to find my videos.

My friend C watched one of the videos and said, "Remind me to add you to the list of people to never cross. DAMN, bitch!"


In the mean time, I have a big 3 day craft show coming up next weekend, so I won't be around nearly as much over the next week, as I gather my stuff, and get it ready to go. Hopefully, I make enough to help cover the cost of Christmas.

If not, I'm accepting website sponsors. ;)

Spouse & The Warning Siren of Annoyance

The way we have shit set up, Spouse gets the den, and I get the living room. His computer is in there, and he has some video game paraphernalia, and his tv. Lately, he's taken to watching Stargate Something Or Other in there, via Netflix.

As I sit out in the living room, I suddenly become aware of a constant beeping buzz sound. You know, like if you are on Spaceball 1, and being warned of impending Self Destruct. THAT kind of constant warning beep.



I ignored it for about 10 minutes, but it was getting aggressively annoying. Like stab myself in the ear annoying.Then it got even more annoying. And it just kept going. And I was all, WTH!

Spouse was like, What buzzing? Is it the fan? ..... WHAT BUZZING???? DEAR GOD, MAN! The exasperating buzzing from your completely abrading show!

He mocked me about death attacks, and what not, but that sound? I wanted it to just go away. About 20 minutes into the death of all Reason, he says this.

Spouse: You realize the buzzing ended like 15 minutes ago, right?

Me: ......

Me: Huh.

Me: Maybe it is the fan.

Me: Come here.

Spouse: Dude. It's the fan.


And it was. Our ceiling fan was wired by the morons who owned the house before us. They were very into uninformed do-it-yourself projects. Like making a big laundry room, but wiring it so that you have to have the washer and drying facing each other, so close to one another, that you can't open the dryer all the way. Like that.

The fan, for starters, has 3 lights attached. And it's on a dimmer switch. And if it's on full power? It's too much for the fan circuits, and the light bulbs. It puts off a dull hum that we really just ignore. However, the glass domes also come loose from time to time, and shake in the "socket" when the fan is on, creating a noticeable noise. Usually it isn't -that- loud.

Tonight? HOLY FUCKING CRAP! I wanted to tear my damn eyes out of their sockets, and stuff them in my ears to stop that damn noise!

Monday's Words of Wisdom & Shit You Ignored Last Week

Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but gets you no where. - Van Wilder

Posts you missed -

• Sponge Bob Oh My God Shoot My In The Head Pants - Because it's about Sponge Bob annoying me. Isn't that enough of a reason to read it?
• Real Conversations: El Gavino & Klout - Because sometimes, I have fucked up conversations, and I share them with my unsuspecting victims readers. 
•  Nearly Wordless Not Wednesday - Cute Fluffy Kitten Love.
• Public Alienation - What happens when a Blogger brings the Internet Down on your Head. Oops.
• Finding The Joy - Because I forgot I had it scheduled to post. But cute sneezing baby elephant!

Onto other things. First up, Minion One started her own blog, which both scares and impresses me. And also shows me that we are too much alike for our own good. Many would call it mutual insanity. Personally, I just like watching it unfold when we're using our powers for good, rather than fighting evil. 

You can see her particular brand of insanity over here.

Now, Cranky Old Man threw down a gauntlet this weekend, where he called me insane. But also said I'm likely not someone to piss off, so I'll let the insanity remark slide this one time. And also because it's likely true.

So here's the deal. I'm supposed to toss out what some of my favorite posts are, and challenge others to do the same. Here's where I put my own spin on it. I hate telling other people what to do. It's the spineless bitch in me. And also because I would hate to leave anyone out on accident. I'd have to commit harakiri if that happened. Don't worry, I'd totally take pictures to have Spouse post if it happened.

So, I'll list my favorite- if you want to do the same on your blog? Consider yourself challenged.

(also? Keep in mind that I likely will NOT be taking this seriously.)


Most Beautiful Post -  So You Think You Want To Give Birth. Why? Because having a baby is beautiful. Or so the experts say. Me? Not so much.

Most Popular - Public Alienation. Why? Well, it has the most page views. We'll just stick with that. And it's only been posted for 3 days.

Most Controversial - Kids Are Like Assholes. Why? Because it brought a shit storm of people down on me on Facebook. And by shitstorm, I mean like 2 people. They didn't understand what I meant, and melted. the. fuck. down.

Most Helpful - Ways To Fuck With Your Teen.  Why? Because, it's helpful to those asshole parents like myself who really just want to fuck with their teens.


Post Whose Success Surprised - Minion 2 Mows The Lawn. Why? I still scratch my head over it, but somehow, it's one of the most viewed posts on the blog, and yet, only 3 comments? (and 1 is me, the other is Spouse).


Post That Got Undeserved Attention - Planking is Awesome, or.... You Have Shit Lips - Why? I underestimated just how many people look up terms involving the word Planking. Which really, automatically means people will come to this page. Awesome.

Post Most Proud Of - Blog It Out - I'm proud of this one, because I got some old feelings out of the way, and moved on from something that has hurtful, spiteful, and downright mean.

Finding the Joy

A lot of things annoy me. People who do stupid things annoy me. Basically a lot annoys me, and I talk about that a lot.

Some things make me grin like a nut job out on a day pass from the mental hospital.

• Seeing Minion 3 dance wildly to Glee.
• Watch Spouse flipping off a car that cut us off and flipped us off first- mostly, because he never does that. I do. A lot. But that goes back into the things that annoy me category.
• Seeing Minion 1 walk right into saying something really dumb so that we can mock and abuse her. 
• Hearing a baby giggle. 
• Kittens. Unless they wake you up by biting your toes with what feels like razor blade teeth.
• Minion 2 when he blushes about girls. SOOO cute.
• Spouse buying me something I don't need, but just really want.
• Snuggling a baby.
• Most baby animals. Anything gross looking need not apply for this one. 

Sometimes you have to stop and hear the baby giggle to have a better day. Fuck roses. They're over rated, and stink. 

Public Alienation

 
In the world of social media, the rules change. What was relevant yesterday, is long since forgotten today. People who are just sitting at home writing, are revered, followed, and loved by many. A person can be on top of the blogging world, and barely be known outside of it.

But the blogging world? We are big. We are huge, in fact. Blogging popularity has nothing to do with how pretty you are, or what your job outside is. It has everything to do with relating to the public at hand, and posting something that someone, somewhere enjoys.

You might be seen by 12 people. Or, you could have a Dark Army of over 165,000 twitter followers that read your blog religiously. The beauty of blogging, is that we get what we want said out- and normal, every day people just like us listen.

This is why Public Relations companies have been pitching their products to us for years. Want someone to order a dress from a company? Yes, you could spend millions on advertising in main stream media. Or, you could give one or two away to bloggers, and ask that they, in turn, do the same.

We trust what bloggers have to say, because they are normal, every day people. So when one of them is attacked by a suicidal PR firm, we fight back- and number into the thousands. By the time this shit storm of PRFail is done being talked about, it will be millions.


Yesterday, the PR firm BrandLink Communications sent out a basic form email pitch. Something tons of PR firms do, and something a lot of bloggers hate. Not all, but a lot. This particular pitch wound up in the hands of Jenny at Thebloggess.com.

Without going into the full nightmare, I'll just say this. Jose is Vice President at BrandLink Communications, and after seeing Jenny's reply, he hit Reply All, and sent an email to his company calling her a Fucking Bitch.

Reply all goes to everyone, Jose. Even the person you didn't want to reply to. Yes, it went straight to Jenny.

Jenny wrote back a long reply, and explained who she is as a blogger. If you have never read her page? Do so. Immediately. Jose wrote back that she should be glad they even felt her relevant enough to pitch an idea to.

In terms of public relations? That was not relating to his public. That was alienating her. She in turn posted to twitter what happened.

Do you know how far a woman with 165,000 followers can go? Let me assure it- really far. Add to the fire actor Wil Wheaton, and author Neil Gaiman helping spread the word, each with nearly 2 million followers, and word gets around.

In the upcoming days, BrandLink Communications will learn how well they deal with a shit storm. And honestly? I wouldn't be shocked if they lost clients over this. They called a woman blogger a Fucking Bitch for not wanting to pitch a post about a Kardashian sister in panty hose.

Neither do I. And I doubt I would have been as nice as Jenny in ANY of my replies to the matter at hand.

And apologies are best served when they A) don't infer that the entire matter was started by the wronged party, and B) actually contain an apology.

Let this be a lesson to PR firms everywhere. Bloggers are relevant, and our reach may not look long, but it is. When we need them to, our words can spread to millions, and they last forever.

PR stands for Public Relations. Not Public Alienation.


UPDATE: I almost feel like I should feel special- @Brandlinkcomm replied to one of my tweets.

Nearly Wordless, Not Wednesday

This adORAble little guy keeps me up at night, nibbling on my toes until I lock his ass in the bathroom. He's too small to integrate with the other cats- they'd eat him alive, so his 'home' is our master bed & bath. Most of the time, he's cute. But his teeth are like razors, and his claws just as bad.

 

Real Conversations: El Gavino & Klout

So, if you don't know what it is, Klout is this twitter program that rates your life on twitter, and gives you a report about how influential you are on the interwebs. More on that later.

El Gavino: WTF is this Klout shite?

Me: In theory, it's a site that gauges just how long your reach is on the interwebs- IE: how many people you mind fuck on a daily basis.

Me: In reality, it's a site designed to make people feel more popular, and see what kind of wacky ass shit they say you know about.

El Gavino: Ayo bitch. Imma tell you about my reach. Fifteen motherfuckin' inches, aiight? Word.

Me: For instance, I am apparently influential about the topic of Celery. A food I never talk about, discuss, eat, or like. But, I'm all... important about that topic. 

Me: In yo dreams.

El Gavino: This is going on Twitter.

El Gavino: I gave @AnnaNonamus a +A about Awesome Rockio' Tits. Shame the Spotted Dick addicted skank won't get 'em out for me. Pfft. Like, whatever.

*Rockin'

Me: rofl... they are not that great 3 kids, and 200 pounds have not been kind to them.

El Gavino: That's what corsets are for

say

speaking of which

did you see Lustful Angel on my gallery? She's the newest addition

Me: haven't looked in a day or two

El Gavino: You must

You simply must

Me: My oldest started a blog yesterday. It's kind of scary how much like me she is

  

El Gavino : http://ubermensch.electromuff.co.uk/gallery

Me: eh- Jadeski's tits are better

El Gavino: They are but...

Me: http://minionone.blogspot.com/

El Gavino: I'm meeting Lustful Angel on Friday. She's coming down to pose in corsets and costumes

El Gavino: I get to take pictures and then we're getting drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrunk

Me: nice

make sure your 15" of man sausage don't get ground up

El Gavino: lawl

it's been a while before the man meat has done anything, save piss occasionally

Me: This shit is going on the blog.

El Gavino: [long pause] It's really fifty inches. I never lie about these things.

Sponge Bob Oh My God Shoot Me In The Head Pants

We have a morning ritual here in the Nonamus house. Minion 2 goes to school early, so Spouse drives him and drops him off right about the time I'm getting up. Minion 1 stays at home for school, but I get her ass out of bed when I get up, if she's not already awake.

Her girlfriend goes to the local high school, so more often than not, she wakes up and leaves with Spouse and gets dropped off. She sees her GF, then when school starts, she walks home.

I wake Minion 3 up- she's usually awake, but still laying in bed. She gets dressed, then goes and takes a shower. If we haven't over slept (so far, that's only been once this school year- fingers crossed), then she grabs cereal, and either watches a little bit of cartoons, or plays Little Big Planet.

LBP is like Gold to my little aspie. She can create, interact, and play a game with levels that she can deal with. There is like zero frustration for her with LBP, which is unusual for her. She loves games, but gets very easily frustrated and frankly, pissed the fuck off when the game she's playing is too hard for her.

But this isn't about the game, which has paid for itself 100 times over due to the whole keeping her happy thing. No... this is about that annoying as fuck cartoon, Spongebob Squarepants. That little gem of a show happens to be on during the time frame of after-shower, before-school.

Today's episode includes the ever so nerve grating, annoying little chant of "I'm Waiting, I'm Waiting, I'm Waiting..." Spongebob is waiting for the mail to arrive, with a toy from... something. Look, I didn't pay that much attention to the shit fest on my tv.

Recently, parent groups have been blaming shows like Spongebob for ADHD, of all things. It encourages kids to just run amuk. As a parent with kids who have ADHD, I call bullshit. Either your child has it, or they don't. No amount of shitty programming on TV is going to change a physical condition.

That said, I think it's totally within the realm of possibility that normal kids are influenced to act (more) like heathens when watching it. The difference being, if you have a normal, every day kid, you can tell them to SIT THE FUCK DOWN and SHUT THE HELL UP!

Or, you can just be thankful that your little precious is moving around. That whole obesity "epidemic" is really not just a myth. I won't go so far as to tell you that your kids need more movement, but well, they ALL fucking need to move around.

Kids are conditioned by screens. I won't lie, my fucking minions are brain dead when they sit in front of a screen. They zone out, they probably drool, and they stand or sit 2" from any screen- including the 52" tv spouse Had. To. Have.

Wait... oh. Sorry, I was getting preachy. Fuck that shit, back to the list of faults I find this Spongebob Shitpants to have.

1. His voice - it grates like nothing else at 7:30am.
2. Patrick- his idiot friend. Seriously, why do we still laugh over someone being a complete moron? Is this really what we need to teach our kids? That someone who appears to be nothing short of a window-licking, chalk-eating, short-bus riding person is something to laugh at? Time to move on, America. Stupidity is only funny when it's someone normally smart who did something really fucking stupid.
3. Mr. Krabs - teaches that it's great to be a money hungry slave driver. Seriously. He rides Spongebob like a little bitch to work longer, harder, faster, cheaper. 
4. Squidward - Oh, just shoot me. I fucking hate that whiny little bitch.
5. That Annoying Squirrel - Look, squirrels are great. They serve a great purpose- providing exercise for our outdoor animals who want to chase something. That annoying one, living in the ocean, in a dome?  WTF. 
6. The ICK episode. It's on right now. I want to scratch my skin off right now.  Totally fucking appetizing at the ass crack of dawn. And also? $5.00 for De-Ick? Really?? OMG.
7. Lord, I could go on. I really could. But I'm annoying myself, and likely all the rest of you, so I'll stop.

As I finish typing this, Minion 1 is back from visiting the local HS, and staring at the screen in a daze, like its kiddie crack. Minion 3 is probably drooling if I look at her behind me.

I miss cartoons from my youth. I miss that time when I'd get up at the ass crack of dawn on Saturday, simply because that was the only time I could watch several hours of cartoons, all at once. This 24 hours a day bull shit? It was only amusing for the first week. Please take this shitfest of cartoons off the air, thanks.

This show? FUCKING SHOOT ME NOW.

Monday's Words of Wisdom

Do you know what I found worked real good with Slayers? Killing them. - Spike, BtVS

This is actually just really good advice, because really, take out the words Slayers, and substitute it with Zombies, and now, you have some words of wisdom from me to you on how to get out of the Zombie Apocalypse alive.
 

 Man Candy of the Week - Just something to drool over when I'm bored.


Minion 1 and her Vaccination Adventure - M1 needed a Vax last week. When we got into the room, she Lost. Her. Shit.

When I almost Got Arrested, or Something - Never take a rebel somewhere with a sign telling them what NOT to do.

Blog It Out - Because I can't always be funny. Sometimes I have to put some serious thought into it.

Blog It Out

I have never made friends easily, or kept them easily. I'm awkward, I say the wrong things, I do the wrong things, I take things the wrong way, and I lose contact. I have never in my life been that girl who was surrounded by friends. Instead, I was that girl who stood on the edge of a circle, eavesdropping, and hoping they would notice me, but too afraid to say Hi. I am still that girl.


After I graduated, I took the plunge, and moved 90 minutes away to live with the guy who became Spouse, and it was hard. What few interactions I had were gone. I was depressed, I was lonely. I hated it up there. I had no car. I had 2 friends in the area from my hometown, but both were up there to go to school, and had other friends, so I didn't see them all the time.

A few years in, I started making friends. Most of them, I only talk to occasionally via email, anymore. Last winter, I saw one of them for the first time in probably 5 years. The others I haven't seen since before we left that area, and moved further south in the state.

Towards the end, Spouse had made a lot of work friends, including one guy that we'll call S. Spouse's work environment was aimed at Collage Kids and Unmarried Old Dudes. None of it was really that great for families. It was a toxic environment for families.

Anyway, so Spouse has this friend S, and on a business trip one time, they started talking wives, and realized that both myself, and S's wife M had a lot of similar tastes in movies, shows, things we liked to do, etc, so we bit the bullet, and met.

We were not ever what I would call close friends, but we hung out. By this time, another group of friends and I were hanging out every week. A night away from 3 monsters, hanging out with friends. We'd eat, watch TV, craft, play games- whatever we wanted to do. I brought M into the group right around the time one friend, J, moved out of state, leaving us a gaping wound.

Fast forward maybe a year, and things at Spouse's office started getting shitty. I mean, toxic turned nuclear shitty. Rumors started going around, and coming back on Spouse.

Some quick back story? Spouse worked his ASS off for that place. He did all of his work, and half the work of his co-workers. And he never spoke up when someone took credit for the work. The environment was stressful. Horribly stressful. Can't eat, can't sleep, horribly stressful.

Back to the story.

So Spouse started hearing rumors about how he was skipping out of work to come home and spend 3 hours laying around the house ("proof" being that the work van he used was Burgundy- and our own van was also burgundy, but a completely different make and model). Then, when he started going back to school, so he could get his degree and BETTER our life, rumors started going around that we were only doing that so we didn't have to pay our student loans, because we were always broke.

The rumors just kept getting worse and worse, and the chain around Spouse's neck got tighter and tighter. And then we found out the source of almost all the rumors were S and his wife M, who both worked there. Our "Friends". People we hung out with, people we enjoyed. People we trusted.

When things got bad, Spouse got a message from an old co-worker at an opportune time. A job opening in his office. The downside? It was 90 minutes away.

But I told Spouse go for it. We decided if it fell through, we still had to get the hell out of that town any way we could. I told him there were 2 cities I would not live in, but anywhere else in the state was fair game.

It did take a few months between interviews, and getting in, and we kept a lot of it a secret. We started the job hunt in October. He gave had interviews in March, which is when we let the cat out of the bag. He started in April, commuting back and forth, and we moved in June when school let out.

And I have not looked back. And S & M? Yeah, I don't miss them. For a while, I was angry with them. I still don't like them- I think they're nothing short of back stabbing ass hats. But now?

Now that we're 4 years removed from the city, and Spouse is almost 5 years into an awesome job that appreciates him, and acknowledges his hard work, it's a lot easier to see that what they did? Only hurt the office he was in.  For us, we make a lot more money, and the stress levels? A 2 compared to the 10 from before.

It certainly didn't hurt us. It got us out of a toxic hell hole, which, by the way? Is state funded, and losing money by the bucketful. Would it surprise me if one of those "friends" wound up looking for new work? Not in the least.

So- S & M up in Hell Hole? Thank you for doing your best to not be our friends. We don't miss you. In fact? Here's your sign.

Yesterday, another friends from up there hunted me down on Facebook. One of the comments on her wall was from M, which lead me to her blog and Etsy page. It brought back old memories in a bad way.

Words of Wisdom, NOT posted on a Monday-

What you say can and does affect those around you.