Fast forward about 15 years. I had long out grown the habit, until M3 was about 2, and I made her a handmade quilt with a satin edge. Then I started stealing it from her. I found that once I started weaving my fingers around the stupid edge. I eventually just got my own damn blanket. Yes, it's a child's blanket. No, I don't use it as a blanket.
Just stop judging me. I can NOT sleep without it now. Ask Spouse just how often he wakes up to me tearing the bed apart to find the stupid thing. At least once a week. At least.
Last night, I was laying in bed talking to Spouse, when he jokingly tried to steal my blanket from me. He offered to keep it for me while I was on vacation, so I don't lose it. This is the conversation that came from it.
"I'll just keep it safe. You would be so sad if you lost it."
"I will cut you."
.....pause for laughter, and then disbelief.
"I'm sorry... you'll what? A, what the fuck. And B? .....Seriously, what the fuck?"
"I will fucking cut you if you steal my blanket."
"With what???"
"A knife. I'll stabbity you. I'll totally cut you with a knife. Or my spork."
He didn't fully believe me. Until this morning, when I stabbidied him with my purple titanium spork.
Also related, but not related.
Minion 1 and Minion 2 came into our room this morning. M1 will be 16 this year. M2 just turned 13. M1 is short for, well... humans. M2 is probably a little on the average to short side of height, but considering he's a 13 year old boy? We knew it was a matter of time before he was taller than M1.
We measured them at Christmas. M1 was barely taller. Like an 1/8th of an inch. Or, if you count M2's bouncy hair, he was like 2" taller at the time.
Today we noticed they looked much closer in height. Or rather, he looked taller. Conversation went as follows.
Me: "M1, M2, back to back- I wanna see which one is taller."
M1: "Um, no!"
Me: "Suck it up! Get in line, let's go!"
M1: "Oh, in that case... HELL NO."
M3 (who came in): "I'm taller than M1!"
Me: "Holy shit. She's almost to your nose, M1. She's 6 years younger than you."
Spouse: "M3, stand next to her. Oh... wow. Yup, give it 6 months, and she'll be taller than you."
M1: "Shut UP! It's not funny!"
Me: "Do you want to go shopping with me?"
M1: "....yes."
Me: "Stand next to M2."
Long story short? He's got her by about an inch. Which means he's gaining on me. Ugh. Though we figured he'd be taller than me by Christmas, which he wasn't, so I WIN!
Oh, and this gem came out of M1's mouth, upon us taunting her about being so short.
M1: "I will cut a bitch! Stop laughing!! It's not my fault you guys made a short defective person!!"
......It was awesome.
I don't know you...I stumbled upon a photo from a FB post. Which, considering I don't DO FB very often meant this was ... fate, whatever. LOL, I too have that blanket and it too started with the satin edging. I found one at the goodwill with the whole damn blanket made out of satin. We made it into a bunch of pillow cases and now I tote around a pillow. My husband said that he was going to hide my pillow and I said: "I'ma CUTYOU!"
ReplyDeleteWas this a coincidence? LMFAO!!!!
Anyways...wow. I had to laugh my butt off. This phrase has been said more than once in my life, and not just by me!!!
Anyways, if you know where on earth to get the satin edging that goes on blankets (I can't seem to just BUY satin, its not the same!!!! Is it acrylic or somethin?) - let me know. lol.
The higher quality binding can be found at fabric stores. The trick, however, is not stuffing it. Leave the binding empty, and only attached to the very edge of the blanket. Then you get a nice sharp edge.
ReplyDelete.....yes, seriously, there IS a science to blanket edge rubbing. My fingers are twitching as I type this. Must go get blanket fix.
Also? Depending on WHO you are, and WHERE you got the link, you likely DO know me, just not by this name. ;)
I do know you. Yep.
DeleteIt as a face palm moment. Because honestly, I just clicked a link, and didn't pay attention to the "who I am" bit.
Knows you. Lots.
Ominous music cued here!
I have a blanket made of that edging stuff, I wish I could find another. It's a whole blanket of silky goodness.
Exactly. Also? For maximum web presence, you should totally have an account. Even my dad has one. ;)
DeleteLMAO @short defective person. too funny
ReplyDeleteI had a bear when I was 5 or so and up until I was 25. Some how it got put into a box that was put in a storage unit. Well DH never paid for the unit and my bear was gone. I could have cut him. I loved that bear
There is so much awesome in this post. A) It's all freaking true and b) you canNOT imagine just what my face must have looked like when she said that to me. C) Another thing this post doesn't do justice to? The shrill sound of my daughter's voice as she makes her short, defective comment that sent me into a fit of laughter. Ah... good times...
ReplyDeleteI am the same way with the satin. When it starts to get really embarrassing is in a store when it's a satin nightgown you can't pass without touching, or the lining of a coat, or baby blankets, or or or. Yeah. Explaining to a guy you already know well enough to sleep with is wayyyyy easier than explaining to strangers in a lingerie shop.
ReplyDelete