Fast forward about 15 years. I had long out grown the habit, until M3 was about 2, and I made her a handmade quilt with a satin edge. Then I started stealing it from her. I found that once I started weaving my fingers around the stupid edge. I eventually just got my own damn blanket. Yes, it's a child's blanket. No, I don't use it as a blanket.
Just stop judging me. I can NOT sleep without it now. Ask Spouse just how often he wakes up to me tearing the bed apart to find the stupid thing. At least once a week. At least.
Last night, I was laying in bed talking to Spouse, when he jokingly tried to steal my blanket from me. He offered to keep it for me while I was on vacation, so I don't lose it. This is the conversation that came from it.
"I'll just keep it safe. You would be so sad if you lost it."
"I will cut you."
.....pause for laughter, and then disbelief.
"I'm sorry... you'll what? A, what the fuck. And B? .....Seriously, what the fuck?"
"I will fucking cut you if you steal my blanket."
"A knife. I'll stabbity you. I'll totally cut you with a knife. Or my spork."
He didn't fully believe me. Until this morning, when I stabbidied him with my purple titanium spork.
Also related, but not related.
Minion 1 and Minion 2 came into our room this morning. M1 will be 16 this year. M2 just turned 13. M1 is short for, well... humans. M2 is probably a little on the average to short side of height, but considering he's a 13 year old boy? We knew it was a matter of time before he was taller than M1.
We measured them at Christmas. M1 was barely taller. Like an 1/8th of an inch. Or, if you count M2's bouncy hair, he was like 2" taller at the time.
Today we noticed they looked much closer in height. Or rather, he looked taller. Conversation went as follows.
Me: "M1, M2, back to back- I wanna see which one is taller."
M1: "Um, no!"
Me: "Suck it up! Get in line, let's go!"
M1: "Oh, in that case... HELL NO."
M3 (who came in): "I'm taller than M1!"
Me: "Holy shit. She's almost to your nose, M1. She's 6 years younger than you."
Spouse: "M3, stand next to her. Oh... wow. Yup, give it 6 months, and she'll be taller than you."
M1: "Shut UP! It's not funny!"
Me: "Do you want to go shopping with me?"
Me: "Stand next to M2."
Long story short? He's got her by about an inch. Which means he's gaining on me. Ugh. Though we figured he'd be taller than me by Christmas, which he wasn't, so I WIN!
Oh, and this gem came out of M1's mouth, upon us taunting her about being so short.
M1: "I will cut a bitch! Stop laughing!! It's not my fault you guys made a short defective person!!"
......It was awesome.