Turning a Druggie into an Icon

So imagine if you will...

You have a beautiful, insecure, depressive young woman. She turns to alcohol and drugs to numb the pain of a depression she can't get out of. She goes from marriage to marriage, sometimes being faithful, and sometimes cheating her husband.

When she's single, she's sleeping with guys who have wives, and not hiding it well. All the while, the drug use and alcohol use is spiraling out of control.

Her job is at stake- she has no where to turn to, so she gets more pills to help numb the pain, which in turn causes her to lose work, and money. As her life falls further out of her control, she takes more pills. One night, she takes too many, and the next time people see her, she's lifeless. She died alone in a dark room, without the people she so desperately craved in her life.


What would you think of her if she lived next door? What if she was your sister, or cousin? What if you found out your husband was having an affair with this woman? What if her drug use put you, and others you loved at risk?

What if her name was Marilyn Monroe?

Tonight, my niece was talking about how her idol is Marilyn, and my brother (her uncle, not her father) asked why she idolizes a druggie and home wrecker. It got me thinking.

Because she was an actress, Marilyn's death is often romanticized. It's theorized, and it's forgotten, much like the style in which she lived that life.

We look at her in photos and think, "She's so beautiful, so glamorous." And maybe she was- in a photo. But inside, she was scared, she was depressed, she was full of sin, and she turned towards alcohol and prescription pills to heal the hurt.

Why is it that we idolize her with such ferocity? She deserves pity, certainly. But putting her on a pedestal makes her something she never was- perfect. She was the Paris Hilton of her day. Beautiful, filled with drugs, alcohol, and with no shame when it came to who she would get into bed with.

 

UPDATE:

A few people have asked for some clarification on my stance, so I'll give it to you.

1- Do I judge male cheaters as harshly as female cheaters? Yes. I do. Sorry, but keep it in your pants. Honestly, if you really feel that strongly about another person, then you need to end the relationship you are before starting a new one. PERIOD. That said, I judge the cheater I know more harshly than the cheater I don't know. Does that mean I won't get over it? No. I can forgive and move past, but you better believe I don't forget.

2- Do I agree with people idolizing drug users, cheaters, or other people who have less than stellar morals? I don't agree or disagree. I don't personally choose to idolize people who can't clean up their messes and get their act together. I pity them. Especially if they are in a position to be a role model. A drug user is NEVER a role model. That said, what I am against is people idolizing people to the point of ignoring that there are issues. If you want to idolize someone, get to know who they were. Don't blindly follow the masses because someone has a few good quotes, or photos. Know who they really were, so that when you tell someone you idolize them, you can stand behind it without compromising your own beliefs.

3- Do I think someone with an on-going drug addiction is different than someone who has cleaned up their act? You bet I do. Take for instance Drew Barrymore vs. Lindsay Lohan. Drew had issues. She took a break, she cleaned herself up, and she moved on. Lindsay had issues. She continues to have issues. She can't go more than a month without having a public issue with being loaded, and can't own up to the issues she has. For her, it's deny, deny, deny. But you can only see so many photos of her stumbling drunk from a bar at 2 am, unable to walk or keep her eyes open, before you realize she still has an active issue. She has an amazing opportunity that she's flushing down the toilet. I don't respect that in the least. Will I feel the same if in 2 years, she's clean, working, and doing her best to stay that way? No. I'll respect her for giving herself a chance to be the person she should be.

So- honestly, everyone should look up to who they want to look up to. But if you want to stand by idolizing someone, know who they are. Don't do it blindly. 

Marilyn was an amazing person. I don't disagree with that. But, she was full of problems. The problems she had, if she were a starlet today, would put her on the same ground as Lindsay Lohan, or Paris Hilton, or Britney Spears. Know that, then decide if she is still the type of person you would want to be.

In the end, idolization is about wanting to be the person you idolize. Don't give your idolization up blindly.

All Things Spouse Related

This week, Spouse got a highly anticipated, much hoped for promotion, and a hefty 16% pay raise along with it.

I'll take a moment while you congratulate him. And while you image all the crap I can buy with an extra 16% every month. Ok, 12-13% after taxes.

When I met Spouse, he was going to college, and working part time at it. Fast forward way too many years, and he was working full time at the campus, and getting bupkis in pay, and bupkis in recognition. In fact, several of his co-workers did their best to take credit for his work, as well as make him look bad.

Shit got smeared on their faces, though, when he accepted a job offer at a new place- over 90 minutes away. We packed up, and shook the dust from that town off, and moved to the "big" city. Big meaning it was decently sized, but only the 3rd largest city in our state, and smaller than where I grew up.

Anyway, 1000 ways to Sunday, this job is the best thing that's happened to us. Except, you know, meeting, falling in love, and raising a crazy ass family. But aside from that...

Spouse has been with this company for just under 5 years, and this is his second promotion. His last one was a position created just for him, because they knew he did a lot more than was required or even asked of him. Go him!

So after about a month of interviews, he was given the position this week, and a pay raise. Yay him! We are proud of him. :)

Now, moving on just a tad, let me say that Spouse is a very supportive hubby. (I -hate- that word. Hubby. Yuck). He is amazing. More so than most people even realize, given I'm a SAHM, and yet, he cooks most our meals. Or takes me out for dinner. Also because he doesn't bat an eye when I say, "Let's go to the mall and get me some socks and bra's!" He even holds the bag when I go in.

Along that train of thought, I'm ditching him for 7 nights in February, including Valentine's Day, so I can go to Disney World with my friend. He's joked around about how I'm abandoning him on Valentine's Day (or first spent apart since meeting a hundred and twenty years ago), but mostly, he's happy that I get the chance to go to my favorite place on Earth, and he's happy that my friend has someone to go with (seriously, he really is).

Last night, I checked Groupon for the first time in a billion years. Because I -never- buy anything from them. I'm always afraid I won't use it, so what's the point in buying stuff?

I found something fantasmically amazingful. Tickets to see his favorite Basketball team live, for just $50 for 2 tickets, 2 magnets, 2 hot dogs, and 2 sodas. For $65, I could get closer seats, and 2 t-shirts instead of magnets. SCORE.

So this upcoming week, he's leaving work early (cause it's on a Friday, and it's like a 2 hour drive in WINTER) so we can go to see the Piston's together. Live.

And also, because the Rainforest Cafe is just down the road, and I've wanted to eat there since like a year ago when I first saw it in person, and so I am dragging him there for dinner. This is all like a pre-Valentine's Day Valentine's Day. :)

And this is why I'm like the best non-cooking wifey EVER. I win.

Filled with Danger & Excitement

This weekend was packed. We're fairly un-involved people. Our kids are not in 50 million projects. We don't run from one spot to the next. Most of the time, the biggest thrill of the weekend is if we decide to ditch the minions to go see a movie.

Not so, this weekend.

This weekend included not 1, not 2, but THREE social events with various groups/family.

We will start off with the dangerous portion of the weekend. Sledding with the Girl Scouts.

Shut UP, it is TOO dangerous!

Two years ago, I took the kids down that very death defying hill, and broke my ass-bone, ya'll. I couldn't sit for a month! Do you KNOW what that means?? No post-Christmas clearance shopping!!! NONE! I spent fucking JANUARY 2010 in BED.

I wish I was joking. I really do. I completely dislocated the tail bone- like, it wasn't even attached anymore. What happened then, was that I had to WALK down a slippery hill, and DRIVE 3 kids (1 of which was having a global fucking meltdown) home while SITTING. Then I had to wait for Spouse to get home, and get in his car to go to the ER, where the sadistic bitches said, "Have a seat", while pointing to the hard plastic chairs. Um, no fucking thanks. I'll stand.

For a month, there was excruciating pain any time I moved in any way that tugged on my tail bone. Let me tell you a list of things that tug your tail bone.

Standing up from any position
Sitting
Sitting down
Going up or down stairs
Going to the bathroom. Dead serious.

Basically, I laid in bed unless I needed to use the bathroom. And then, it was an intricate series of rolling off the bed, and pushing myself to a standing position without using my ass. Try it- it's MUCH harder than it sounds.

It was fucking MAY before it stopped hurting completely.

So, sledding? Not up there on my list of SAFE things to do. But, Minion 3 and I had fun. She went with a couple girls from her troop, and a few girls from an older troop.

Pintervention

I've coined a new phrase: Pintervention. The act of interfering in my love of Pinterest in the hopes of rekindling my love of Twitter.

True Love Is...

Last night, Spouse and I were in bed watching The Walking Dead, when we had this conversation.

Spouse: I love you, but if you zombie out, I am not letting you eat my brains.

Me, very serious like as I turn towards him: I would totally let you eat me. THAT's true love.

Spouse: Yeah, but you'd just be a light snack.*

I totally made that last part up, because I don't remember his response, but like, here's the deal. Does that mean he thinks* that I'm skinny, or that my brain is not a full meal?

And by thinks, I mean fictionally, of course.

Words of Wisdom

Yes, pretty much exactly.

No one is ever worth letting you lose who you are. You have a sparkle, a shine, and it's uniquely you. No one deserves to lose that.

And that's why I can't be let out in public

So, all I really had for this post, is the title. Which, honestly, Spouse would agree with, even if there isn't a story behind it.

My friend K told me I haven't been posting much, which is true. So many reasons. I'm working again. (from home), which takes up time. I'm Disney obsessed (which is nothing new, but the obsession is at a high point right now). I'm not sleeping hardly at all at night (which isn't new, at all), which means when I finally get tired enough to just CAAAARASH at some point during the day.

Also, my last pain shot has worn off already (note to self, call pain clinic today) (note to readers, on hold with them now). My headaches are horrid. I have arthritis in my C-spine. On the same section of spine, I have a bone spur (or did- not sure how bone spurs work, do they go away?) The two work against each other to cause pressure on my spine, which causes my discs to bulge. It all leads to a lot of headaches at the base of my neck, horrible, throbbing headaches. The kind where you can feel the blood pumping through the area, and causing it to hurt more.

As I don't have meds that actually treat the problem, I get pain shots to alleviate the symptoms, which help rid me of pain. They are supposed to last 3 months. Lately, not so much. It was in December when I got my last shot, and it's already worn off.

(note to self AND readers- the doctor is booked solid through April, but I am on a cancellation list)

Ok, head is already hurting for the day. Time to go lay down, and take pain meds. Blah. I must be one of the worst narcotics patient ever. I hate taking them. BUT, nothing short of vicodin actually takes all of the pain away (and in the process leaves this weird, semi-queasy, and itchy twitchy eyeball feeling). If taken preventative, Excedrin will help stave off the headaches.

Now that I read this, I realize what a fucking downer it is.

I really need to get back out in public, and and embarrass myself so I can enthrall ya'll. Ooo. I like how that sounds. Just say it out loud:

Enthrall Ya'll.

Fucking yes.

Words of Wisdom

I know, it's been ages since I had a Words of Wisdom post. But, this one is special, ya know? Just too special not to share.


I feel that these words are words to live by.

Darkside of Disney Review

As some of you have read in the past, I have a minor obsession with all things Disney. Well, some things have come up, and fingers crossed, I'm going in February with my friend K and her two kids. It's a long story- some of it has been posted here in a ball gripping, world ranting way.

I'll spare you more details. Some of you may catch on to what happened, others will be staring at your screens wondering what the fuck I'm going on about.

Anyway, here's the thing about my Disney obsession. When it starts up, full power, I start reading up about it. A lot. Books, websites, blogs, photos, rumors, Disney-of-the-old, etc. This time around, I bought 2 books. The first is an old standby for me- Birnbuam's Disney guide. It's great for adults and kids, explains everything, gives tips about different things, and unlike some of the guidebooks I've seen, it's bright, colorful, and full of photos and animation pictures.

Then the other night, I was browsing through a website, and it recommended a book I'd never heard of (turns out, it hasn't been out too long), but man, it was FUCKING perfect for my particular brand of Crazy. Like, it could have been written by me. Except it wasn't. Sad.

Darkside of Disney was written by Leonard Kinsey, a Florida native who grew up going to the Mouse House all year round with season passes. By the time he was in collage, he was seriously bored with the place. Side note: Please let me win the lotto, so that I can actually become BORED with Disney...

The book gives some awesome tips on just about everything- ways to get a deluxe resort like mad cheap, how to eat for free without the dining plan, how to avoid some of the more adventurous (and venomous) natural habitats of the area (snakes, ya'll. Fucking snakes. I think you ALL know how I feel about those by now), and some of the considerably more adult things to do- finding some rock music, drinking, doing a Monorail Bar Crawl, hooking up with cast members, and more. Oh- and how to sneak into things that are not made for tourists. Yes, fucking YES.

This book cusses. It has offensive moments. It's not made for kids. Hell, it's not made for most adults.

While I doubt I'll be taking advantage of most of the tips in this book, I will be keeping it all tucked safely upstairs in the old noggin, because it was fucking awesome.

For those of you wanting a not-so-PG look at the Mouse, you can find the book on his website, or on Amazon.com. I purchased the digital version for my iPad. It's 154 pages, and I finished it (word for word- I tend to gloss over words when I read, and I didn't skip a single word) in about 2 hours of reading.

My final thoughts?

Buy this book if you are anything like me, and want to read some hysterical stories about his escapades through the Utilidores below the Magic Kingdom, or how to get into Stormalong Bay, or if you are broke, and need free food at the Magic Kingdom.

Are you too cheap to buy it? At least check out his website, which has a blog, with more info on it. It has stuff that isn't in his book, and it has some of the stuff from the book in it. Like the free food, and Stormalong Bay info.

Also? A whole blog post on sneaking into the now shuttered Image Works 2nd floor play area for kids at EPCOT. Do you remember it? It was one of the only things I really remember from EPCOT, and I'm kinda pissed it's gone. That rainbow corridor was the fucking bomb to a 17 year old at an educational park without parents.

If you are looking for a wholesome vacation, and want ideas on how to keep the kids entertained and not melting down, or how to find the best kid-friendly, uncrowded restaurants, skip this book. Just pass by it.

Need further encouragement to read it?

Check out this fucking book cover. Seriously.