Chicago, I am invading you *UPDATED*

Planned a trip with the Minions to head to Chicago for 36 whole hours of fun. Well, actually, more like 18. The rest is bus city for us. Minion 3 is my little Aspie. She has a huge love for all things Myth Buster related.

Right now, the Science & Industry Museum (which also happens to be by favorite museum) has a Myth Busters exhibit that closes in early September. Time is running out. So today, I sat down and started figuring it out.

We found a bus route on Megabus.com that will cost us each $7 to get there, and $9 to get back. I would likely spend less on gas than $64, but then there's parking. And driving in Chicago. And being frustrated. So, for $64, I'll take a bus.

The bus leaves at 2:15am, so we just won't go to bed before getting on it. Hell, the kids have been staying up late for summer anyway, so 2am won't kill them. Then, we arrive at 6am, Chicago time, which is really fucking early.

I'm planning to eat breakfast at Union Station and take our sweet ass time before finding a bus to get us down to the museum. The museum doesn't open until 9:30am, though, so we'll have some time to kill as we wait.

Here's hoping that we don't wind up in a gang war while we wait. Or get mugged at knife point. Or have some random group break out into song and dance around us. Mostly that last one, please and thank you.

The bus route only has 3 available departure times from Chicago. 7am, 3:30pm, and Midnight. 3:30 is not very late- we would only be at the museum for about 4 hours once you add in public transport time. So, screw that, we're staying until Midnight!

We won't get home until 5am our time. I'll be crawling into bed around the time spouse is waking up to go to work. But we should be able to sleep most of the way home easily enough.

To kill time after the museum, I'm thinking of taking the kids to Navy Pier, as it's open fairly late, and it's close to Union Station.

(I only know this, because Google has a kick ass Public Transport map that gives me the bus numbers, times, and routes- go Google!). Also, Magnificant Mile is nearby, and has a Disney (YES!) store, and a Lego Store. So, probably stop by those two shops, then head over to the pier.

It'll be a Wed, and at 9:30 every Wed, the pier has fireworks. That'll leave us enough time to catch a bus to Union Station, and wait for our bus before heading home. It'll be a long full day of walking and fun, though.

UPDATE:

This is what happens when I plan my posts in advance. I forget all about them, and don't change them. Way to go, moron me.

Plans changed just last night. We are driving down tomorrow, instead of taking a bus in 2 weeks. The cost went up as I waited for pay day, so the bus lost out. I think the bus would be great- if you plan your trip 2-3 months ahead of time. But, we were on a tight budget, so it really made things tighter than I wanted for the trip.

Spouse is going with us, but Minion 1 opted out of the trip to spend the night with her friend. I am, however, planning to go back with Minion 1 and my aunt in September to just spend a day kicking around and having fun.

We drive down, spend the day at the museum, maybe see 1 or 2 other things quickly, then we're heading out, and stopping at the sand dunes in Indiana on our way home. It's about a 3 hour drive, so it's totally doable in a day. As long as we leave Indiana by around 9-10pm, I'm good. I'll just suck down Monster on the way.

Anyone in the Dunes area of Indiana willing to point me towards a kitschy tourist area?

One more year, bitches

Just bought me another year of ya'll typing in Annanonamus.com instead of annanonamus.blogspot.com. Yes, I get excited over little things. They keep life real, ya'll. Carry on with your bitchery.

Interview, anyone?

The other day, I sat down and talked with Samantha from Topix magazine on the phone. It was an interview. Seriously- someone sought me out asking about my thoughts. For real.

Not sure when it comes out, or how much of what I said will be included, but she did ask for a photo to accompany the article. Now, I'm a big fan of the camera, and I have a lot of fun photos, a lot of pretty photos, and a lot of serious photos.

Which direction should I go with this??

The topic of the interview was my thoughts on Fifty Shades of Grey. I actually got to laugh while saying, "No, I don't have my own Red Room of Pain."

Note To Self: You're A Fucking Moron

When you go on vacation, particularly a vacation that lacks adults, and instead, includes 2 10 year olds, and 1 16 year old, always, always, always bring your ID so you can get shit-face wasted one night. Or even just indulge in a beer Smirnoff after a long day.

Last week, I packed up the car, shoved 3 girls in it, and put 995 miles on my car over the course of 6 days. On day 1, we stopped at a gift shop, and I got asked to see my ID when I used my debit card. I searched, and didn't find it, so I used cash.

I then had Minion 1 search my purse while I drove.

Guess what wasn't in it? My ID. My first thought?

No Hot Ass Bartender Dave for me. 

Feel my pain, everyone. Feel it.

Luckily, on day 2, my husband's cousin E came up, and even though she's like 7 years younger than me, I had her buy me a 6 pack for the trip. Ok, 2 six packs. Plus the one we shared that night. Fine, there were 3 six packs involved, of which she drank 2, and I brought home like 7 of, so you do the math.

ETA: I should clarify. She drank 2 drinks on the first night. I came home with 7 bottles. That means I drank enough to remain pleasant all week.

There was one very fun day at the beach, in which I think I drank 4, but to be fair, what we were doing was walking out into the water, and sharing which ever 1 we brought out, so, really- she drank like 3/4 of one, and I had the rest.

I also met Harry Potter. Or Daniel Radcliff. Or, really, neither. But E's guy? Totally looks like them. We call him Harry. Or Cubby.

I fucking ROWED A BOAT, ya'll. I haven't done that since I was like 10. We drove way the fuck up into No Man's Land. AKA- the Northern UP. We wanted to see waterfalls, but to get to them? Yes, a boat. Across a river with a current.

But? Totally fucking worth it. We got to walk right in the waterfalls, play in the water, and frolick like the fat little fairy I am.

And did you notice the hair? Blond for the first time in about 10 years. Also? Small tid-bit. Natural color, ya'll That shit is what I should look like.

We went and heard some haunted tails at a historic park. The dude above told us some stories. I can't even begin to tell you what the story was about, because once I noticed it, I could not just make it go away.

See the photo below to see what I mean.

Thigh highs, a long shirt posing as a dress, and a loin cloth? We decided he's ready to go clubbing, Mackinaw style.

I will simply leave you with that thought. You can scrub your eyeballs out later. Also? Already planning next year's visit. This time with more booze, more hot ass bartender Dave, and a cabin, not a fucking tent. A cabin. With walls.

Because, incidently? We suffered through TWO nasty thunderstorms, and discovered at 4am during the first one, that our tent was NOT waterproofed. It took a lot of wet towels and blankets, a tarp, and some cursing to not lose my cool that morning.

However, before storm 2, I secured tarp #1 better, added tarp #2 to the back corner where it was coming in the worst, and I used up the last of both my seam sealer, and waterproofing spray to help keep dry. It totally fucking worked, too.

I'm magic like that. I shoulda been in Magic Mike, ya'll, I'm so magic.

I like Big Butts...

Sunday evening, my girls and I were on our long ass ride home from vacation.  That in and of itself is a whole different post. We'll try to keep this shit on the fucking topic. Which is big butts.

So it's 10:30 and we stopped at a McDonalds for a bathroom break. As we pulled in, I saw two girls inside wearing belts as skirts. They weren't small girls, not big girls either, but their clothes were at least 3 sizes too small. We encountered them in the bathroom enjoying some trash talk about some random men.

Now, let's keep in mind that it's 10:30pm Sunday night. Not Friday night. Not Saturday night. We were getting ready to leave,  when we noticed them in the gas station next to the McDonalds, leaning over a car and making a huge spectacle of themselves as they dual washed the windows. I am talking crotch shots as they leaned across the car. So, I did what any self respecting basher would do.

I located Sir-Mix-A-Lot and cranked "Baby Got Back" while waiting in the parking lot before pulling out. In my rear view mirror, they were both stopped and watching our car, and laughing their asses off. This is of course totally inappropriate to do with kids in the car.

But it was fucking epic.